I was talking to my daughter today, not long ago about Prophet Maldonado being on Sid Roth’s “It’s Supernatural” show. I was trying to explain to her how Sid Roth asked Prophet Maldonado how a person can tell that they are walking in their purpose. He said something like, (and I am not repeating it word for word) when you find something that aggravates you, that is your calling. I think that I am using the wrong word when I say “aggravate” but it is close to what he said. In other words when you find something that is tough, gets on your nerves or follows you, badgers you, that is allegedly your purpose. I know I may be getting it a little wrong and if any of you watched it feel free to correct me.
Well, my daughter didn’t like that, She said that she doesns’t believe that God is going to ‘aggravate’ someone into their calling. (Good point.) She said something to me that God has been showing me for a long time now. She kindly rebuked my idea that a monitoring spirit is following me because everywhere I go it seems that someone has to hear me or watch me somehow and that’s not being paranoid. Plus, I am a Minister of the Most High God who discerns VERY WELL. You have to be careful of those who are quick to say that you are paranoid, especially if you are a minister. It is the devil’s ploy. he is trying to embarrass, discourage and intimidate you when people say that. I can tell you what you think about me upon first meeting me or conversation. I can feel when there are evil spirits in the room. I can hear and see what others cannot hear and see. Yet, I say nothing. Jesus “perceived” what others were thinking as well and he wasn’t paranoid.
Mat 16:8 Which when Jesus perceived, he said unto them, O ye of little faith, why reason ye among yourselves, because ye have brought no bread?
Mat 22:18 But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites?
Mar 2:8 And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts?
Luk 5:22 But when Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answering said unto them, What reason ye in your hearts?
Luk 20:23 But he perceived their craftiness, and said unto them, Why tempt ye me?
Joh 6:15 When Jesus therefore perceived that they would come and take him by force, to make him a king, he departed again into a mountain himself alone.
What my daughter said was that she has noticed throughout my years of ministry, and it is very obvious, is the fact that I seem to have a hard time getting peace no matter where I go or where I live. She said that something always comes between me and bible study or just spending time with the Lord. I have noticed this and complained to God about it many many times but he knows that I can take it. He gives me the power and strength to make it through. I have many gray hairs now but I am Woman, I am strong. She told me that it seems that I have to “go hard in the paint” to focus on praying or preaching. It’s true. Nothing has ever come easy to me. When I do my Sunday Services on Blog Talk Radio (www.BlogTalkRadio.com/RevEssie,) people (neighbors) actually growl and scream while I am preaching. I am so glad that you cannot hear it online when I am speaking. If someone had the proper instruments, they’d be able to hear it as it comes through the walls. I believe that people just may be getting delivered by my preaching the Word and mentioning the name of Jesus. I actually had one neighbor yell that she was ‘tired of hearing Jesus and Hallelujah.”
Even when I attempt to sleep, it seems that the whole world wakes up or someone’s little yapping dog starts yapping as soon as my mind drifts off and that dog yaps for hours upon hours. Or someone decides to sit in their homes and keep pushing the panic button on their keys when my lights go off in my livingroom and bedroom. It’s almost like Gangstalking but I continue on. If they have that much time, good luck.
I live in a set of Condo’s where I am the middle one, the only one with a set of bushes from the sidewalk to the door but for some reason, people keep coming to my door looking for “fixes” from their friends who live in the neighborhood. I’m in the middle with a beautiful set of patio lights outside but I have to be the so-called “supplier” for all of the addicts in the neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong, I live in a cute neighborhood but I have to say, the young generations took over and kinda ruined it a lot. Every few condo’s have older people in them who used to work at the Mill but most of them are dying off and addicts are moving in, abusing government programs and it’s downhill from there. You can sit and watch them walking down the middle of the streets, going from house to house, bumming cigarettes or scoring drugs. If you don’t get your Amazon boxes as soon as the delivery truck drops them off, you just may not get them. It’s sad. I pray for my neighborhood on a daily basis. It’s hard but I would not want God to ask me why I didn’t pray for them and wish them well while I was here. You can actually hear them through the walls, moaning, having sex, yelling because someone “missed their veins,” and arguing about stolen “bags.” I remember the times that I actually had to pray very loudly to go to sleep while my neighbors shot up dope and had wild orgies. I literally had to move my huge heavy bed from one wall to another after that. But it’s my neighborhood and I have no vehicle sooooooo…..where am I going to go, right? Even to go shopping I have to call a $21 Uber or Lyft and you are only allowed to have so many bags or they’ll overcharge you. Until God moves me or makes a way for me to move, it looks like this is my portion for a while but I am claiming my country house in Jesus name. I wanna invite all of my friends, have outdoor barbecues, sit around a fire and discuss the bible, give the Word to each other, pray, dance and sing to the Lord. I am and have been for years, praying for my own country home with acres of land, maybe at least 5 or more, with a garden, apple trees, grape arbors, cherry trees, lemon and orange trees, and most of all Black Walnut Trees. The nuts are softer and sweeter than those overly dried whitish ones in the stores. I used to live on land like that when I was married with the same trees and we called it “God’s Green Acres.” We had about 3 acres then, chickens and goats and all. It was great until my husband began drinking with the neighbors and not coming home at night. My Walnut Trees were so awesome. They had so many walnuts that my cousin who was a cop then, would come a few times a year and collect the walnuts, I really just wish that in turn, he would have given me pics of my mother and me for free. He charged me $20 per pic. She died when I was 8 years old and I wanted to see her again so badly since I lived in so many homes growing up. Yes, he literally charged me $20 per picture. Wow. I could only afford about 5 different pics at that time as I was working at Washington County Courthouse in Washington, Pa. and wasn’t really making millions.
Anyway, yes, it’s very hard for me to get peace no matter where I go. My daughter was telling the truth. And it is very noticeable. Imagine the power my ministry would have if I could be free and let loose the way that I want to?
And then there were the times where Blog Talk Radio shut down while I was playing the recording for my opening. And yes! The time when no one could call in to listen to my sermons a few times. (1-917-889-8054 10 am Sundays ET) Not to mention the times that I preached the whole hour sermon and the program never recorded and the Holy Spirit was REALLY using me too. Smh. I’ve been in tears many times over these incidences. When you don’t get much support, Blog Talk Radio is all that you can do ya know?
I may not be getting much peace now but when I get to that Heavenly Place called Home, I will enjoy it. In fact, I want to enjoy it now. I will pray and come against anything that comes against my peace, in the mighty matchless name of Jesus. After all, I am the righteousness of God, the Father and I are one, and by Jesus’ stripes, I’ve BEEN healed. I will get peace. The Word says so. Even though there may be turmoil going on around you, you can still have inner peace. It works better from the inside. As long as I keep talking to my best friend Jesus, He will make it alright. As the song says, “Just have a little talk to Jesus. Tell him all about your troubles, He will hear your faintest cry, He will answer by and by and when you feel a little prayer wheel turning, you know a little fire is burning, just a little talk with Jesus makes it right!”