I have been a believer in God and Jesus Christ since I was a young child, about 2-3 when my mom used to light a candle and we’d sit on the living room floor and happily sing, “This little light of mine.” God rest her soul. Today, I am a full-fledged and ordained Preacher of the Gospel of which I am very proud and pleased. God is awesome and His Word is true. I am honored to do the Work of His Heavenly Kingdom.
There is one thing that has been bothering me at least 2-3 times a year and that is Sleep Paralysis. Well at least that is what science and the world calls it. I call it “demonic attacks.” I, much like the Apostle Paul in the New Testament, get constant attacks, buffeting as the Apostle who wrote most of the New Testament called it. Buffeting is to push hard upon someone to make them miserable or lose their normal balance. Just yesterday, during my Online Sunday Service on Blog Talk Radio, my telephone mysteriously shut down during the playing of a song that I had chosen for Praise and Worship for the Show. This is not the only odd incidences that I’ve experienced such as lights blinking, odd voices or noises, my bed floating up and down with me in it, bumping against my side while I lay in bed, mean people staring oddly at grocery stores, cursing at me out of the blue. Anyway, God worked it out on my Radio Show so that when I called back in, I was placed right where I had left off at the end of the song. God is good. Unusual things have always happened around me for as long as I can remember. It’s not spooky or ghastly, none of that rhetoric, it is just aggravating for a woman of the Cloth like me who truly believes that Jesus, Yeshua HaMaschiach is the answer to all things. When the Apostle Paul said that “a messenger of satan” kept buffeting him, he asked God to take it away. God said, “My grace is sufficient for you” which means, “I got your back Paul.” I love the Lord, He is so awesome. I saw a writing on Facebook the other day that said, “Jesus is cool.” Since I use that word so much, “cool,” I just may get a t-shirt that says, “Jesus is cool.” Yes, I am a nineteenseventi-er.
I wanted to go to bed early last night around 7pm to give myself a few hours to read, “God’s Leading Lady” by T.D. Jakes. It is very thought provoking and helpful. I read up until approximately 10:00 p.m., happily closed the book and turned off my bedside light. I found it so hard to go to sleep. My mind kept thinking about things that I did not want to do. I knew that I was being attacked mentally because of the nature and the persistence of the thoughts that were going through my mind. As Paul said, “the things that I don’t want to do I do, and the things that I do want to do, I don’t do.” It was one of those moments. To many of you who wrestle with that thought, (physical sin,) it’s not you, it actually is a demonic influence or for some, a stronghold and in that case, deliverance is needed. I haven’t had that thought in a very long time of which I am glad and I certainly didn’t feel like manifesting it last night. My ministry has been going very well, people have been calling praising the Sunday sermons, testifying about familial healings and loving the Service. I have been feeling stronger spiritually and praying for people on the phone, web and in person. Then all of a sudden, that thing that makes NFL and NBA players weak struck me. It was like an inside, mental battle. Joyce Meyer was so right when she said, “the mind is a battlefield.” I was fighting myself. I remember wrestling and looking at the clock thinking, “Oh Lord, it’s 3:00 a.m. already and I am not sleeping yet. I tossed and turned, slept a few minutes, woke up cold, slept a few more minutes and woke up with the neck of my nightgown and my sheet and quilt soaked in sweat. It was absolutely miserable! And then it happened….I finally drifted off to sleep around 3:30 a.m. and I saw myself lying in bed under a white quilt, (mine is rosy,) something began to squeeze me from both sides as though to wrap me up in the quilt and take me. In the back of my mind, I knew it was another night attack so I began to try to say, “Jesus!” In real life, I am moaning horribly like a banshee. I couldn’t open my mouth to say “Jesus!” so I tried to say, “Help me Yeshua!” Whatever this thing, or these things were, they had muted me and was trying to drag me off of the bed onto the floor. It seemed that they were trying to stand me up as I was wrapped in a mummy-like way in this white quilt or sheet or whatever it was. I refused to allow it (or them) to stand me up. I refused everything that they were trying to do. In real time, I could hear the rustling of my legs in the bed. I knew that something physical was happening to me. As a preacher of the Most High God who has had a bad life and doesn’t play the ‘spiritual’ games that satan likes to play, I kept yelling for Jesus until I woke myself up….moaning horribly. “Oh God!” I thought, “I hope my neighbor is at work.” My children heard me do it before and they said the sound is bone-chilling. I realize that the devil is slick, if he can’t get you, he will attempt to leave you embarrassed in the silence of your waking up. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and laid silently in bed in shock, hoping that no one next door heard me. Everything was whisper quiet as though butterflies were the only thing around me. I laid for a while thinking that I had once again gotten Victory-in-Jesus. I finally got up around 7:00 and went to the bathroom to get cleaned up for the day.
This is one of the reasons that I wanted to have a house all to itself so that I can do spiritual work, praise God, sing with my anointing that God gave me, to the top of my not-so-used-in-a-long-time lungs. It’s not that I am not appreciative of the Condo that my son got me, I just need, well, room and privacy.
These things are real folks. Here’s my conclusion:
I had refused to accept the demon of self physical pleasure which weakens men and ministries and wastes seed, therefore, the second and/or third demon(s) came in to sort of ‘punish’ me for doing so. During the course of my religious studying, I have found that demons travel in groups. That reminds me of the trolls that used to go around in Christian Yahoo Groups, harassing the owners and pushing buttons until the owner closed the group down out of frustration. Didn’t they tell Jesus when he asked their name, “Legion, for we are many?” I believe that it was John Bevere who said that they travel in groups or couples. His books are great as well. Lastly, I had no personal desire to even get into the act so…what was the urgency for me to do so? I believe that God has a special blessing for me and I am more than ready to accept it and be ready for it when it arrives.
May this writing help you in some way. I hope that this lets you know that you are not alone in your struggles, no matter what they are and that God has your back.
Thank you for reading this and God bless you always,
Rev. Esther R. Scott
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