Sometimes I feel like Bruce Lee. Demons follow me closely in hopes that I will cave in. He experienced it as well and some say that is how he died. It’s been going on all of my life whether I am happy or sad. Every day I battle an odd battle that just seems to be unusually stronger than others around me. People love to call it depression or anxiety and I know that it isn’t. I’ve tried various doctors and so forth who never really ‘hit’ the nail on the head with me. Most are too bookish and not spiritual enough for me. The first thing they blame is your mother. I never knew my real mother therefore, it’s not her fault nor my fathers.
I get strange visitations, unlike the dark figure at the end of the bed that some people get. I really didn’t want to say anything about it but last night, around 2 a.m. (the evening of the 22nd of August ’15, early morning of the 23rd of August,) I heard that odd voice again. Before I went to bed, I started to not open the window knowing that there would be the possiblilty of hearing that old, proverbial ‘breathing’ sound that I hear outside my apartment building but I opened it anyway. Sometimes it’s there, sometimes it isn’t. Sure enough, around 2 a.m. or so, as I slept I heard a voice coming through my window as though someone was standing on the sidewalk looking up to my floor yelling, “The rich are getting poorer! I hate you Reverend Essie Scott!” I am an Affiliate of a new 5-year old company called Karatbars that makes it easier for people to acquire small, affordable increments of gold. The past 2 days, the Dow Jones lowered past 500 and people are losing their 401k’s and savings because the Almighty Dollar is dying. I help people with Karatbars. I give them free, off-shore, gold savings accounts so that they can order so when the dollar dies, they will be able to eat and pay bills. I woke up somewhat to see if I could hear the voice again. I heard the same background, the same eerie quietness of night but the voice never came back while I was awake so I went back to sleep. I felt as though I almost missed it but didn’t. It wasn’t in my bedroom or my mind, the voice literally came through my window.
Strange things happen to me that I can’t talk to other people about because I know they wouldn’t understand and I surely don’t want my Christian friends to stop talking to me on Sundays because “they don’t want to hear my sadness on the Lord’s Day.” There are a few people who seem somewhat interested and told me that I can talk to them about anything that I want but in my heart I know that they aren’t ready. They couldn’t take the deep stuff. I know this. Examples: The day after I lower my car insurance, the “check engine” light comes back on. People treat me like the plague when I am looking for apartments as though I am on a ‘bad’ list somewhere. I’ve never had any bad problems before. Every time I try to open a business to make extra money to live on and enjoy my life, someone calls me with an unlisted number asking questions as to whether or not I am legal and if I ‘comply’ with my county or state. I get odd emails intended to aggravate or intimidate me, they are not the regular ones that other people get. I look up something on the internet and get phone calls or emails about it. I am so sorry that I looked up “thinning hair” years ago that I don’t know what to do. All my emails now are about thinning hair. Well, I am used to it by now really. It’s really boring. Things fall down around me in my living quarters unexplainably. There are clicks and cracks each time I attempt to get quiet. I have to keep a fan running or keep my tv on to block out outer sounds around me. Just as I start to fall off to sleep, something will click or crack to remind me that ‘it’ is there…reminding me. It has become mundane to me yet it hasn’t stopped. Most of it has caused me to be immune to the tactics of whatever ‘it’ is or ‘they’ are . It can be quite maddening to a person with a weak mind but God has strengthened me to be His Warrior and I can’t stop. I love being a Cheerleader for the Most High in Word and Song and I wouldn’t trade it for the World.
I don’t know why I wrote this. I guess that if there are some of you out there experiencing similar troubles that you just CANNOT share with anyone know this…..
TROUBLES DON’T LAST ALWAYS.
(The devil knows his time is short.)
11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
12 Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.
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