There are people who have asked, “What’s it like to be a single female preacher?” They always seem to add the proverbial, “Be honest” or “really” at the end of their sentences as though I’d lie about it. Truth be told, it’s wonderful most of the time. There are times where you desire to have a male companion along side you for conversation and sometimes simply for back up. Every princess needs her prince. After all, that’s the way God made us, male and female. But there are instances where some people are mate-less, with no human to talk to or hug when they are in need of one. I find myself totally enjoying being single sometimes knowing that Jesus is at the helm and I am preaching His Word to whomever asks and sometimes even when they don’t ask. We are to preach in season and out of season but never gorge someone with the Word. God doesn’t force Himself on us so why should we force Him on others?
Then there are situations when I feel very lonely, in need of human contact. Talking to my children or an old friend on the phone is nice but everyone knows that you can only talk so long on that hot cell phone before it gets old. I want to talk to a nice, handsome, make me feel like a woman-man! Men keep secrets better….well…most anyway. I know some who are quite questionable. Men are great listeners or should I say, “at times”? Men are supposed to be our help mates right? Then again, there were times where I couldn’t get anyone to cut my grass or fix my lawnmower to save my soul. The guys in my neighborhood acted like you wanted to marry them because you needed your grass cut. A policeman friend of mine stood over my gate one day talking to me as I stood there with my daycare children (at that time) and what happens? The local newspaper decides to come along and take a pic of us talking. What a random picture. And yes, the grass was about 5″ tall. I looked like an animal on a safari in this picture. But! I was in the paper though right? Lol.
And there are the times when I needed work done on my car or roof. No one around. I could almost swear that men have a “Don’t help single ladies out or people will think that you like her” rule. (Ooops! Sorry for the term “swear” to all you ‘religious’ sticklers out there) But men are cuddly and cute right? (If you can do it out of caring and without the threat of sex.) Ooookayyy. Moving on….
One thing that I noticed is that most men are threatened by women preachers. One, either they don’t believe that women should be preachers. They say that women should “shut up and remain silent” in churches even though that was printed in 1st Cor 14:34 and 1 Timothy 2:11 because women in those days were standing up in church correcting their husbands in public instead of waiting until they got home and discussing in private their concern. Another problem that I ran into throughout the years is that men think that you are trying to be smarter than them because you are versed in the Word. Burns me up. Years ago when I was dating, I heard it every time that I attempted to have some kind of relationship with a man. “You think you are smarter than me!” Trust me, I am NOT a know-it-all….’really’….and it’s been about 15 years since my last attempt to have a relationship. Yes, I would like to have a man who would make me blush and laugh and feel all around …. pretty. But to this day, nada, nix, nothing. Then there’s Jesus……
God has a way of letting us know that He loves us and that we are never alone. Jesus came to me a few days ago. It was like a dream but it was real if that makes any sense. He was really with me in my room. It started out with me being in a restaurant with Him. He sat across from me in the booth and showed me things. To this day, I haven’t figured it all out but I am sure that there was a meaning to it, unless He was just playing with me to make me laugh. It worked. He had that gentlest, kindest, warmest laugh that I’ve ever heard on a man. It was awesome. I felt young again with Him. I felt loved again. I heard Jesus laugh in my sleep! Awesomeness! His laugh was comforting and loving, it wasn’t teasing or silly. It’s like He was happy to have made me happy. That was the dream part. Then in my room, Jesus laid directly behind me in the bed. It’s as though He melted into my back or something. I remember seeing hot, white and yellow heat between our bodies as He laid down. At first, my mind, as our human minds would do, thought that it was one of those demons that attack people in their sleep. I fought with my shoulders and elbows and said, “You are not Jesus!” I mean, I was really struggling with Him as we all do in real time. But then again, this went from a dream to real time. He was really there. It’s hard to explain. This was no longer the dream. Then, just as I was struggling, I felt the hottest heat go through my back. It felt as though His very presence was healing something in me. It actually looked as though He was melting into my back. Our bodies seemed to fuse together as one. “The Father/Son and I are one.”
Just then, I heard His voice say, “Turn around! Look at me!” It was the kindest, most loving voice that I ever heard. (My sheep know my voice.) I looked over my left shoulder and there He was propped up on His right shoulder looking at me. My question is, why did I have my back turned to Him to the point that He had to tell me to turn around and be face to face with Him? I have some soul-searching to do. We need not make that mistake folks. Was He correcting me? Maybe. I can’t remember His face, all I remember is love and beauty. Was His eyes blue? Were they brown? I couldn’t tell you. They were just beautiful. He kissed me and I kissed His left shoulder twice. I dont’ know why it was twice but that’s what I remember. He didn’t have a shirt on and I could see the hairs on His chest. He wasn’t one of these shaven, oiled-up Metro-sexual men like now a days. He was all man. I saw how His shoulder was cut as though He lifted heavy items all day. His shoulder was built. Yes, He lifts heavy items all day…..our burdens. (Selah.)
My experience wasn’t sexy or derogatory in any way even though it seems very intimate doesn’t it? Intimate to the point of the reader becoming uncomfortable reading my experience. It was pure love. I have the oddest feeling that Jesus was telling me that He’s got my back. I had a visitation from the Lord Himself.
My encounter with Jesus made me forget that my heart was ever broken. Who else do I need? When He thinks that I need a mate, He’ll send me one, until then…..I’m cool.